*Special Friday edition
Brooks Kieschnick, 1994 Pinnacle
Brooks Kieschnick is not an actor. Brooks Kieschnick is a fantastic baseball player who just happens to make fabulous catches when baseball card companies are there to take his picture. The story goes like this. Kieschnick was a rookie with the Cubs, and was participating in spring workouts in 1994 when the Pinnacle baseball card company arrived to take some rookie pictures for their upcoming “Draft Pick” set. The original plan for Kieschnick was a posed shot in which he was happily juggling four baseballs at the same time. With no shirt on. Upon hearing about the plan, Kieschnick told a friend, “That is gay. I’m not doing that. That is so gay.” Brooks Kieschnick did not believe in posed photographs. (Even his wedding pictures had a journalistic flair.) So, when Pinnacle arrived, Brooks Kieschnick would not stop shagging flies in the outfield. He was shagging flies like Willie Mays. One Pinnacle executive screamed to Kieschnick from the dugout, “Hey Brooks! Get in here real quick! We gotta do your juggling spread!” Then, Kieschnick screamed back, “I’ll be right in! Just let me rob one last home run!” Already impressed with his outfield performance, the exec turned to one of his cameramen and said, “Fred, get the hell out there. I got a feeling about this kid.” Fred rushed to the centerfield bleachers, and immediately zoomed in on the warning track, just in time to take the shot that would eventually become the “most amazing baseball card ever,” as it was later dubbed by President Bill Clinton. And, in the irony of all ironies, this Pinnacle baseball card was the pinnacle of Brooks Kieschnick’s career. So, good thing he was wearing a shirt.
Did you know?
The legend of Brooks Kieschnick was greatly damaged when it was later discovered that the ball in question had actually bounced first. He was only robbing a ground rule double. Also, he did steroids. (Did you think he could jump that high on his own? C’mon. Don’t be an idiot.)
