To Derek Jeter: You’re officially on notice.
To Roger Clemens: Go away.
To Andy Pettitte: Whatever.
To Jorge Posada: A hit would have been nice. But hey, you call a great game.
To Joe Torre: Thanks for staying awake.
To Johnny Damon: That thing down the first base line is called “first base.” You should go there sometime.
To Mike Mussina: Thanks for sucking so bad this season that the team had to ask a cigarette-smoking sinker-baller to pitch on three days rest.
To Alex Rodriguez: I don’t care what you do.
To Jason Giambi: You still here?
To John Sterling: Don’t worry, it was the bugs’ fault.
Joe, wake up! You're fired.
