Happy Halloween - trick or treat

It's Halloween and the scary snow started falling today and most of the leaves have fallen from the trees. Oooooooooohhhhhh, damn snow. Happy Halloween everyone.

Here is one more scary Bay Street Banker zombie to scare the heck out of you.

U Can't Touch This

It's Hammer Time on a stop sign. And that sign has seen better times, it looks like a zombie pulled it down and ripped out it's little sign brains, then the City sewed it back together and glued it back up on the pole. What, they don't have any spare Stop signs lying around?

More cool zombies

All Hallows Eve is this Sunday and the little ghouls and goblins will be going door to door for treats. Here are some more zombies to help scare you to death in honour of the night. And the pictures are extra large so they are extra scary - except for the superhero.

Classic card of the week

Jerome Kersey, 1993-94 Topps Stadium Club

Here is Jerome Kersey executing a slam-dunk. Feel the excitement. Undoubtedly, point guard Rod Strickland has driven the lane, thus drawing multiple defenders, and subsequently dished off to a wide open Jerome Kersey, who was standing on the block, and who then proceeded to jump as high as six inches in the air in order to dunk uncontested while letting out a half-hearted scream of dominance. Clear this area which has already been cleared! Jerome Kersey’s ‘bout to get his dunk on!

There are a few interesting things going on with this card. And by “interesting,” I mean stupid. For starters, the font of the “K” on the front makes it look like an “H,” so the uninformed onlooker may feel as though he or she was just dunked on by a man named Hersey. Hersey Johnson. Hersey Johnson is a person I made up, but who I Googled for fun and who I discovered is, among other things, one half of a charcoal grey sweatshirt-making team. Luckily for me, I grew up idolizing Portland Trailblazers power forwards, and so I knew it was Jerome Kersey the whole time.

Please also notice on the bottom left a weird, compass-type thingee that contains the letters “HC” and also other alphabetical letters, like “G” and “O” and “U.” It’s uncertain if even more letters are there but have simply run off into the black background, which could be a graphic error, or a clue, and if you use a magnifying glass with 3-D plastic glasses, you will uncover the code that reveals that Jerome Kersey urges you to drink your Ovaltine.

It is also uncertain what the freakin’ heck these letters mean, but if anyone has any ideas, please let me know because it’s honestly starting to bother me. The “HC Compass” is also contained on the back of the card, minus the other letters. It’s unfortunate that no one was using their creative compass when creating this compass, and stopped to say, “Wait—this compass makes no sense!” I mean, I don’t want to make too much out of this, but this compass has ruined my day. A nonsensical compass on a Jerome Kersey basketball card has ruined my day.

In fact, I was thinking about it, and the only possible thing I can think of that would cheer me up would an upside-down night-vision image of Jerome Kersey. Why? I don’t know. I guess I just think it would be kinda cool, and would definitely take my mind off the compass for a while. Alas, where in the world would I-



What? Is that what I think…



Yes!

Did you know?
The Predator version of Jerome Kersey is much more aggressive when urging children to drink their Ovaltine. He sort of demands it.

Make Local Hunger Disappear

Scott Hammell waves to children that had just donated food to his Free the Children Food Drive in Support of the Daily Bread Food Bank. Scott is a Magician ("entertain and inspire") and is living in a giant glass box at Union Stations. His box is quickly filling up with non-perishable food donations which will soon make him disappear as the space fills with a wall of cans. Probably the best type of magic - giving to those who are less fortunate.

How a mortgage broke, almost -- a not-so-funny tale

Note: This column appears in the 10/28 issue of The Glendale Star and the 10/29 issue of the Peoria Times

Talking about mortgages is not fun, or funny. Whenever a friend or acquaintance attempts to become involved in a conversation about mortgages, interest rates, or anything involving finances, my strategy is to draw upon enough acquired knowledge to prove that I am not an idiot, and then make a forced and ill-timed joke in an attempt to steer the conversation back to an inane topic, like sports or celebrity gossip. You know who should refinance? David Arquette! What a jerk, huh?

If there is anything worse than talking about mortgages -- besides, of course, having one -- it’s reading about them. Please consider a forthcoming column that even I wouldn’t read evidence of my immense frustration.

Like many Americans, we have watched our home and greatest asset depreciate in value exponentially. This has been wonderful, especially since we purchased our home at the peak of good economic times, and committed to a high interest rate. In this respect, moving to Arizona was like a crazy night in Vegas, in that we were down $50,000 before we unpacked our bags. (I hear that moving to Vegas three years ago was also like a crazy night in Vegas, as their housing market is no better than ours.)

The good news is that we love it here, and have been content to wait in the hope that things will turn around economically. While we wait, we thought it would be a nice idea to try and refinance, as we had watched interest rates plummet. In the meantime, friends and acquaintances foreclosed, or strategically foreclosed, and the squatting epidemic became national news.

We wanted to go about things the best way we knew how. We were fortunate enough to still be able to pay our mortgage, but thought we could earn a new rate. My humble attempts to go about this were met with roadblocks and misinformation, but I didn’t give up, because I am the hero of this story. A hero who wants to save $300 per month.

Throughout this entire mortgage crisis, I always felt a little bad for the banks. The way I figured, it’s easy to blame an institution, a “bank,” but it’s more difficult to blame people -- people with families. It’s easier to blame a business philosophy and those who took part in it than to trace that philosophy back to its roots, where it becomes more complicated to pinpoint fault.

I do not feel bad for the banks anymore.

Eventually, I made progress with our bank. We had our home appraised, which was humbling, yet it placed us in the bank’s arbitrary window to refinance. We worked out a good rate, and we were on our way.

Or so I thought. First they sent paperwork with incorrect names. Then they lied about sending the corrected paperwork, and only “resent” it after I insisted. It took weeks for them to respond to any issue. As the projected closing date approached and then passed, they stopped answering their phones and returning emails. Here we were, trying to go about things the right way. A major, national bank chose the teenage-jilted-lover route, and just didn’t answer their phone. Nice.

After locking in a 90-day rate, pretty much the next time we heard from them was 92 days later, when they informed us that they had input the wrong property address in their system. Ya’ know, small detail. After three months of waiting for them to get their act together, the bank needed us to close in two days.

Your hero closed, thanks in no part to the bank itself. Even after ultimately succeeding, I can see why our country is in its present financial state. If you ask me, it's not very funny.

Victoria's Secret - Heavenly Angels

The lingerie battle in Canada continues to warm up with the addition of the Toronto Eaton Centre’s Victoria’s Secret. The grand opening of the new store in downtown Toronto is Thursday, October 28^th, 2010 and two gorgeous models will help launch the event – Alessandra Ambrosio and Lily Aldridge.

To promote the upcoming opening Victoria’s Secret, which is “the sexiest lingerie in the world”, they have set up a tent in Yonge-Dundas Square and are giving away secret awards valid October 28-31. You can also enter to win a chance to attend a fashion show and for those adventurous girls you can get a photo taken wearing some angel wings.

The water coming out of the fountains in the Square was even coloured pink in tribute of lovely underwear. I must admit I was disappointed that there were no angels on hand wearing some of the famous lingerie. Remember, you can’t have too many thongs!

Flat Track Roller Derby Semi-Final #2

Downright Dirty Dawson #Z682

The second half of the Toronto Roller Derbry (ToRD) flat track semi-finals slammed into the Hanger as the Death Track Dolls and Chicks Ahoy went wheel to wheel and shoulder to shoulder. Doors opened at 6:30pm today (Saturday, October 23rd) and the game started at 7:30pm. The Dolls were in white and the Chicks were in green and Chicks Ahoy kicked a little ass tonite and took the semi-final game. I was sad because I love the Dolls and one of my favourite players is the incredibly fast Land Shark #33.

Jammers Demolition Dawn #36 & Candy Crossbones #5446

Toronto's Roller Derby League play is one of the best sports entertainment events you can go to with it's eclectic mix of action, girls, costumes and musical guests. The costs of tickets is very reasonable and so is the price of beer - and as a bonus parking is free! You can buy your tickets now for the hell on wheels 2010 competition final.

From ToRD "Ask the Death Track Dolls what kind of year it is and they’ll confidently proclaim, “Year of the Doll!” Showing an immense amount of team-work and strategy this year, the Dolls are stronger and more driven than ever before. Not to be underestimated, they are out for blood and there is no such thing as mercy at this stage. Poised to continue onto the championships for the first time, there will be no holds barred. The Death Track Dolls want their chance at fighting for TORD’s top trophy: The Boot, and they’re prepared to put up one helluva fight for it.

Land Shark #33 blows by the pack

The last time these two teams met on the track, Chicks Ahoy! squeaked by with a thin 121-109 victory – very close in the world of roller derby. This outcome has fostered a sense that both teams have something to prove in their rematch. The Chicks Ahoy! are a crushing force to be reckoned with, executing devastating hits and impassable walls that can render even the best jammers useless. But the Chicks are more than that, and they will be bringing every tactic and well practiced strategy in their arsenal to the track in hopes of a victory."

The winner goes into the Championship game against the Gore-Gore Rollergirls scheduled for Saturday, November 30th, 2010. The final game will provide the winner with the top prize; The Boot (I don't think I would like to get the boot, but I guess it's good in this case). In the picture below I think someone didn't get the boot, they got the hand and by the look of the tattoo the hand formerly belonged to a Chicks Ahoy skater. Sometimes those games are rough!

The place was jammed with fans and the arena filled up fast with people sitting on bleachers, sofas, lawn chairs or on the floor. The anthem and half time show featured the Cowgirl Choir.

The Cowgirl Choir

You can see more photos of the action after the jump.

Monichrome #35

And down they go

Warming up

Monichrome #35 blocks Hum Dinger #96 & Rebel Rock-It #7

Robber Blind #34A tries to break through the Doll's Line

Land Shark #33 bangs against Masher the Smasher #2x4

Slam Wow #I9.95+tax checks the Chick's Jammer

Winning team Chicks Ahoy Captain Mach Wheels #V12 with Dyna Hurtcha #2I

2010 Toronto Zombie Walk

The 2010 Zombie Walk returns to the streets of Toronto, starting at Trinity Bellwoods Park at 3pm and winding it's way along various roads until it hits Christie Pits. Hide your brains and bring out the blood. I asked Thea Munster (pictured below) if she had gotten married yet - you may remember that she got engaged during last years Zombie Walk, and she said that she has been too busy to get married so far this year.

People were having fun gathering in the bowl in Trinity Bellwoods Park. Some of the outfits, costumes and makeup were out of this world. Use of special contacts has been increasing at every event that we attend.

After milling around and everyone taking lots of photos of the zombies they gathered around the stage for a few contests including best scream, best zombie walk and best costume. Then a little after three the zombie crowd headed out to Dundas and there route which ended at Christie Pits. They did do a little diversion to their planned route, heading up Bathurst instead of Borden, but the zombies and the crowds of people had great fun watching the bloody spectacle. This was another successful Zombie Walk and it was great fun to watch and take pictures of everyone.

You can see my pictures of the 2009 Zombie Walk here.

And after the jump you can see many more of my pictures of the excellent makeup and costumes worn by some of the participants.

After the park the streets of Toronto were over run with the many varieties of zombies, guided by the Toronto Police and the UMBRELLA Corporation keeping all the brain dead zombies alive, I mean, safely dead.