How to ride over a school budget without getting caught

Note: This column appears in the 2/18 issue of The Glendale Star and the 2/19 issue of the Peoria Times

There’s been a lot of talk about overrides lately. Not by myself in particular –- I usually just talk about fantasy baseball –- but in this paper and in the community.

To be quite honest, I had no idea what an override even was until, spurned on by its newfound popularity, I decided to look further into it. It was like the time my wife said, “That Lady Gaga song is awesome!” and I was like, “Who is Lady Gaga?” and so I decided to do more research and discovered that Lady Gaga is a man.

It is that kind of research that you, the faithful reader, can trust. And it is in that vein that I come before you to explain the current override situation.
An override is, by definition, a verb that means “to ride over.” Clever, right? In this particular instance, what we want to do is ride over –- not literally, with our monster pickup trucks, so let's not go crazy...but with our votes -– the state’s potential to take more money away from our schools.

Both the Deer Valley School District and the Glendale Elementary School District are currently seeking 15 percent overrides. Each district is hosting elections on March 9th and hoping the overrides pass. If they do not, the state will begin making budget cuts next school year.

Override supporters –- as the paparazzi have dubbed them –- are attempting to rally everyone together in the name of maintaining the status quo, which is just about the funnest and most rewarding job I can imagine. And that is the kind of sarcasm that could be lost on kids without the proper education. Because the fact of the matter is that if these respective overrides do not pass, the results will be devastating to our schools. Millions of dollars of funding lost in the coming years.

To vote yes on the override means to vote for a slight increase in the tax rate. It’s miniscule in nature but adds up to about $120 annually for the average homeowner. And while voting to pay more –- especially voting to pay more as a means of simply keeping things they way they are –- isn’t necessarily the greatest motivator, it is, cliché or not, an investment in our future. A higher tax rate is inconvenient, yes, but so is math class in the boiler room.

I mean, it’s really a no-brainer, right? Says Brenda Bartels, chairperson of Citizens in Support of Glendale Elementary Override, “Please don’t assume it’s a no-brainer.” Alrighty then. In fact, the last GESD override election failed. An override election in the Peoria Unified School District this past November had similar results, which is why talks of another override election there have already begun.

Whether people have been unaware of what’s happening or unwilling to accept a higher rate, a failure of these overrides to pass will have long-lasting and far-reaching effects. That’s why I say, let’s override these budgets all the way to Yuma.
It may not be a no-brainer, but that’s exactly the type of kid we’re voting for by not voting at all.

Good news mixed with bad news means no news at all

Note: This column appears in the 12/3 issue of The Glendale Star and the 12/4 issue of the Peoria Times

Whenever I hear a statistic regarding some thing that seems impossible to measure -– i.e.: 43% of Americans believe that Lady Gaga is an alien -– I am skeptical. Whenever I hear a statistic released by some branch of federal or state government that attempts to accurately reflect some aspect of this state or nation, I am skeptical. Whenever I hear a statistic released by some branch of federal or state government that is seemingly in direct contrast with a different statistic they have released, I am skeptical.

So you cannot blame my skepticism at the news released a couple of weeks ago that Arizona is steadily gaining jobs…while the unemployment rate continues to rise.

Arizona is watching its employment and unemployment rate rise simultaneously. I mean, what’s the confusion? You’re hired! But you’re also fired.

According to the Arizona Department of Commerce, the unemployment rate has risen from 9.1 percent to 9.3 percent over the past three months. In that span, the state has also seen an increase in jobs, mostly in the private sector. When asked to elaborate, Frank Curtis, director of data systems for the commerce department said, “Seasonal hiring is much better. It was almost nonexistent last year.”

One explanation: seasonal hiring. I am left to assume that “seasonal” jobs are simply ignored by those tallying unemployment statistics. You’re Santa Claus? Pfftt. Doesn’t count. Consider yourself unemployed. Also, considering that these statistics range from August through November, I am left to believe that Arizona witnessed a huge boom in its Labor Day workforce for 2009. How apropos.

Nevermind that the explanation of “seasonal hiring” also contrasts a feature from the Arizona Republic stating that Glendale and Peoria businesses in particular are altering their holiday strategies this year. A strategy that includes hiring less help. Quote: “{The adjustments} include earlier holiday sales, a wider selection of lower-priced goods and fewer salespeople working showroom floors.”

So, to recap, Arizona is gaining jobs. But Arizona is also losing jobs. But the reason we are gaining jobs is because of seasonal hirings. But seasonal hirings are down. Smiley face :) Also, frowny face :(

I believe that statistics like unemployment rates and hiring percentages and the like are researched and computed and released as a means of giving the general public some kind of feel of what is going on. I don’t know about you, but I have no idea what is going on. The data has failed us. It’s like that time I discovered that 90% of Snapple facts are false.

To me it seems like, as a result of the current economic climate, we’re often grasping at straws for some good news and statistics to back it up. Only thing is, that data usually includes some caveat that things really aren’t that great after all. This renders almost everything we’ve heard pointless and irrelevant.

Kind of like this column. Regardless, happy Labor Day!