Note: This column appears in the 7/7 issue of The Glendale Star and the 7/8 issue of the Peoria Times
When I was growing up, it seemed like every other week on the news a report would surface about how butter is better for you than margarine … which would be followed a couple weeks later about how, no—margarine is better. And so on and so forth. I don’t know which product won, but one time my mom brought home a bottle of butter spray, which I thought was disgusting, but I still used it.
Anyhoo, my point is that … I’m not really sure. What was I talking about? Butter? Really? Hmmm. Allow me to transition.
In my book—oh, you didn’t buy and enjoy my book yet? That’s too bad. Please do, and then feel free to rejoin this conversation—there is an entire chapter about how, in attempting to become a tan person living in Arizona, I ultimately realized that it’s much more important for me to be protected in the sun. The person most responsible for this revelation was my wife, who was like, “You’re an idiot. Put on sun block, idiot.”
So I started using sun block much more consistently, and things had been progressing quite well. Until last week, when one of my wife’s friends forwarded her a link via facebook about how sun block is terrible for your skin, and is actually more harmful than actual sun exposure.
In a nutshell, the link states that the FDA doesn’t allow natural sun block to be classified as such, so as to generate more profits for “chemical companies.” Also, the chemicals in almost all sun tan lotions cause cancer.
It sounded a little bit conspiracy-theoryesque, but I’m not naïve enough—I watch documentaries!—to think it’s not at least partly true. My wife was more convinced of the completeness of this information, which led to this conversation over the weekend:
Me: I am going to go outside.
Wife: Okaaaaay.
Me: What should I do?
Wife: What are you talking about?
Me: Should I put lotion on?
Wife: NO! Are you crazy?! Didn’t you read the report?!
Me: Okay, so … should I burn?
Wife: No! Just go underneath a tree or something.
I ended up staying inside.
This all reminded me of the butter versus margarine battle from my youth (I knew I led with that for a reason). And it’s not just diary products and sun block—it seems like we’re provided contradicting information about everything, and part of that information is about how we shouldn’t even trust those giving us that information. It’s enough to make a man see red, and be red.
It leaves me torn. On one hand, I don’t want to fall into that category of, “When I was a kid, we ate raw bacon and used lead paint and ate lead paint and breathed asbestos and played outside and didn’t have the Internet and also we didn’t need seatbelts and we turned out fine! Well, except for Bob, and a few others, who are dead.” I also don’t want to go crazy worrying about what’s harmful, and what’s not, and what is again. I’m too busy doing stuff to think about how the stuff I am doing is wrong and harmful.
So what’s my solution? Like a point, I don’t really have one. I guess I just have to take it one battle at a time. For example, I have decided to start protecting myself in the sun with a combination of lotion and butter spray. They say that two wrongs don’t make a right, but I have heard that is wrong.
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Is it not hot in here or is it me? Family edition
Note: This column appears in the 6/10 issue of The Glendale Star and the 6/11 issue of the Peoria Times
We have family in town for the next couple of weeks. This is not new –- our family visits us quite frequently -- so normally, this occasion would not be column-worthy. But this time is a bit different, for several reasons.
One factor that sets this visit apart is the amount of family that is here. Now that my in-laws have a house here, there is virtually no limit on the amount of people that will accompany them to Arizona. The word from back east is that every person that my father-in-law has informed about his new digs has also been cordially invited to stay there anytime. On this occasion, many have taken him up on the offer.
That includes my wife’s aunt and uncle, and their twin daughters. Now, for the men visiting, this trip is less about seeing us and more about their annual golf outing, so their excitement about being here is already through the roof. My wife’s uncle in particular – who works in the public school system in New York City and is literally counting the days until his retirement so he can move to Arizona, even (or: especially?) if he has to leave his own family behind –- can barely contain himself. Also here visiting is my father-in-law’s accountant, because, well, he’s Italian and he was invited. And obviously it’s not really a party until your CPA arrives.
(My wife’s cousins are staying with us. They are 20-years old, from Staten Island, and manage their tans year-round. Each of them has more friends on Facebook than people I have met in my entire life. It should be interesting to watch them adjust to our nightly routine of watching HGTV and being in bed by 9:30.)
The other mitigating factor that sets this trip apart is that they’re all here during the summer. In the past, if we so much as informed my mother-in-law over the phone of the temperature outside she would let out an audible gasp, nearly pass out, and remind us, again, that she’d never be here in the summer. And last week my wife’s uncle told us to “not even mention the heat” to his wife. So much of this visit will be spent pretending it’s not hot out, all while my wife’s cousins bake and sizzle on beach towels in the background.
Of course, the major attraction –- and the only person I know capable of motivating my mother-in-law to brave the desert summer –- is our hopefully-soon-to-be-daughter. My in-laws have been chomping at the bit to be with her again, and everyone else just met her for the first time. Everything she does is met with rousing applause and the popping of the cork of the nearest bottle of wine.
The next two weeks will include two houses full of loud Italians, euphoric from vacation, golf, a new family member, and the possibilities of the future -- not to mention the beginning of Italy’s defense of its World Cup title -– all among the 114-degree elephant in the room. It will be difficult to assess the damage, but that is why they brought an accountant.
We have family in town for the next couple of weeks. This is not new –- our family visits us quite frequently -- so normally, this occasion would not be column-worthy. But this time is a bit different, for several reasons.
One factor that sets this visit apart is the amount of family that is here. Now that my in-laws have a house here, there is virtually no limit on the amount of people that will accompany them to Arizona. The word from back east is that every person that my father-in-law has informed about his new digs has also been cordially invited to stay there anytime. On this occasion, many have taken him up on the offer.
That includes my wife’s aunt and uncle, and their twin daughters. Now, for the men visiting, this trip is less about seeing us and more about their annual golf outing, so their excitement about being here is already through the roof. My wife’s uncle in particular – who works in the public school system in New York City and is literally counting the days until his retirement so he can move to Arizona, even (or: especially?) if he has to leave his own family behind –- can barely contain himself. Also here visiting is my father-in-law’s accountant, because, well, he’s Italian and he was invited. And obviously it’s not really a party until your CPA arrives.
(My wife’s cousins are staying with us. They are 20-years old, from Staten Island, and manage their tans year-round. Each of them has more friends on Facebook than people I have met in my entire life. It should be interesting to watch them adjust to our nightly routine of watching HGTV and being in bed by 9:30.)
The other mitigating factor that sets this trip apart is that they’re all here during the summer. In the past, if we so much as informed my mother-in-law over the phone of the temperature outside she would let out an audible gasp, nearly pass out, and remind us, again, that she’d never be here in the summer. And last week my wife’s uncle told us to “not even mention the heat” to his wife. So much of this visit will be spent pretending it’s not hot out, all while my wife’s cousins bake and sizzle on beach towels in the background.
Of course, the major attraction –- and the only person I know capable of motivating my mother-in-law to brave the desert summer –- is our hopefully-soon-to-be-daughter. My in-laws have been chomping at the bit to be with her again, and everyone else just met her for the first time. Everything she does is met with rousing applause and the popping of the cork of the nearest bottle of wine.
The next two weeks will include two houses full of loud Italians, euphoric from vacation, golf, a new family member, and the possibilities of the future -- not to mention the beginning of Italy’s defense of its World Cup title -– all among the 114-degree elephant in the room. It will be difficult to assess the damage, but that is why they brought an accountant.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Glendale Star & Peoria Times: Facebook junkies
Note: This column appears in the 9/3 issue of The Glendale Star and the 9/4 issue of the Peoria Times
There is little doubt that many of our loyal readers have asked themselves this question since at least the dawn of the Internet, and possibly even before that: How do I express my love and affection for both The Glendale Star & Peoria Times in an online forum?
Well, I have great news. We are on Facebook.
For those unaware –- a lack of awareness that must be purely intentional, as this website has not so subtly taken over the free world –- Facebook is a social networking site. What does social networking mean? It means you can do stuff on the Internet at the same time as somebody else! Or at a different time. Social networking, ideally, can lead to marriage, divorce, a new job, a lost job, and tentative plans to meet in Vegas that never come to fruition.
If you haven’t already raced to your computer to socially network, allow me to relate my own experience with Facebook. I joined about a year-and-a-half ago. Since then I have become friends again with many people from grammar school, high school, college, past jobs that I was unceremoniously fired from, and random encounters, many of which I have little to no recollection of. For the most part, the extent of these renewed relationships involves the simple fact that Facebook recognizes the friendship. There is no required interaction. It’s perfect!
On a more important level, Facebook has allowed me to interact more easily with family and actual friends. It has enabled me to look at pictures of people I know, and also people I do not know, and judge them, which has been, obviously, awesome. I can also express myself by becoming “a fan” of certain things. For example, I can become a fan of the band so-and-so, and people can be like, “I like that!” or “They’re the worst!” or "I hate you" and other crucial dialogue. Last week my friend Lisa became a fan of ice cream. So the options are limitless.
Which brings me to the Star & Times. We are now on Facebook under “Pueblo Publishers,” so check us out. (You need a Facebook account to do so, which is free, and which will change your life.) Become a fan, and get instant links to our own revised websites, write comments on our wall about how much you like us, and post provocative pictures of yourself reading our newspaper at home! You won’t regret it. Well, you might. But still.
The Glendale Star & Peoria Times have covered their respective cities for decades, and I doubt the great forefathers of this family-owned company could ever foresee the impact of Facebook. Yet here we are, an active part of this ever-changing media landscape which has made news and pointless columns such as mine more accessible to more and more people.
I imagine that by the time Pueblo Publishers establishes its online fan base, Facebook will have been surpassed in popularity and relevance by some other social networking site. (Twitter is an example, but it’s different. And stupid.) If that should happen, we’ll join that site, too. Because that’s how we roll here. Always adapting. Always networking. Always newsing.
Some have said we’re better than ice cream.
There is little doubt that many of our loyal readers have asked themselves this question since at least the dawn of the Internet, and possibly even before that: How do I express my love and affection for both The Glendale Star & Peoria Times in an online forum?
Well, I have great news. We are on Facebook.
For those unaware –- a lack of awareness that must be purely intentional, as this website has not so subtly taken over the free world –- Facebook is a social networking site. What does social networking mean? It means you can do stuff on the Internet at the same time as somebody else! Or at a different time. Social networking, ideally, can lead to marriage, divorce, a new job, a lost job, and tentative plans to meet in Vegas that never come to fruition.
If you haven’t already raced to your computer to socially network, allow me to relate my own experience with Facebook. I joined about a year-and-a-half ago. Since then I have become friends again with many people from grammar school, high school, college, past jobs that I was unceremoniously fired from, and random encounters, many of which I have little to no recollection of. For the most part, the extent of these renewed relationships involves the simple fact that Facebook recognizes the friendship. There is no required interaction. It’s perfect!
On a more important level, Facebook has allowed me to interact more easily with family and actual friends. It has enabled me to look at pictures of people I know, and also people I do not know, and judge them, which has been, obviously, awesome. I can also express myself by becoming “a fan” of certain things. For example, I can become a fan of the band so-and-so, and people can be like, “I like that!” or “They’re the worst!” or "I hate you" and other crucial dialogue. Last week my friend Lisa became a fan of ice cream. So the options are limitless.
Which brings me to the Star & Times. We are now on Facebook under “Pueblo Publishers,” so check us out. (You need a Facebook account to do so, which is free, and which will change your life.) Become a fan, and get instant links to our own revised websites, write comments on our wall about how much you like us, and post provocative pictures of yourself reading our newspaper at home! You won’t regret it. Well, you might. But still.
The Glendale Star & Peoria Times have covered their respective cities for decades, and I doubt the great forefathers of this family-owned company could ever foresee the impact of Facebook. Yet here we are, an active part of this ever-changing media landscape which has made news and pointless columns such as mine more accessible to more and more people.
I imagine that by the time Pueblo Publishers establishes its online fan base, Facebook will have been surpassed in popularity and relevance by some other social networking site. (Twitter is an example, but it’s different. And stupid.) If that should happen, we’ll join that site, too. Because that’s how we roll here. Always adapting. Always networking. Always newsing.
Some have said we’re better than ice cream.
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